Tishia Lee

I was so excited to be able to have a couple days of IM conversations with Seth. I wish it could of been longer because I really need him right now but he’s supporting me and helping me through everything even way over there and that’s a huge thing to me. It’s important to know that even though he’s in the midst of the war and worrying about himself and the soldiers he is in charge of that he still is here to support me and help me. He’s given out some tough ‘love’ so to say and although I know he’s right in the decisions that have been made I’m still mad at him. And the phrase I’m mad at you makes me giggle because of a lengthy conversation we had the other night and I don’t expect it to make sense to you. LOL And Seth if you read this, I’m still mad at you

He wrote me another poem and in case you missed the first one you can check it out here. I guess I should probably ask him if it bothers him that I post this stuff. I hope it doesn’t because it’s just too hard not to share when he does something so sweet. I said it the last time he wrote me a poem and I’ll say it again - I’ve never had a man doing anything like this (or even remotely close to something like it) so it just blows my mind that he does it for me. So here it is.

The clouds slowly move
Unblocking my vision
Of the full, blue moon
Allowing me to see the stars
That I continue to wish upon

I hope tonight you are safe and sound
I hope that you’re able to find the sleep
That you so desperately deserve

I often wonder, if at times
You forget someone over here
Misses you and keeps you in their prayers

I wish there was some way
To hold you in my arms
That I could look into your eyes
And let your worries disappear

There isn’t much I can do for you
Being way over here
Not much I can change

I sometimes lose sleep over thoughts of you
The blankets that once surrounded me
In their warmth
Are now in a mess on the floor
I wish you were here to take their place

I look up towards the sky
And let the wind take my words
Through the miles

It makes me all teary eyed just reading it again. And of course when my man has a way with words like he does, it definitely makes it hard to stay mad at him LOL

My cousin has been diabetic since she was about 6 years old. She’s had so many complications from it and in her early 30’s she had a heart attack. She’s now in her 40’s and a miracle she’s even here. She’s had a kidney transplant several years ago and then a couple years ago she was put on the donor list for a pancreas (sp?).

My dad just called a bit ago to let me know that she got the call a couple hours ago that they had a pancreas for her! Once this transplant is completed she should no longer need to have the insulin pump attached to her stomach. She should no longer need insulin period.

I am so excited for her! I can’t wait to hear that they started the surgery and even more exciting will be getting the call that the surgery was a success….I don’t know if they’ll start the surgery tonight or if it will happen in the morning. I’m pretty sure they will do the surgery tonight. So now it’s just a waiting game…I hate waiting for news! Patience is definitely not one of my strong points

UPDATE 7/3/08

I just got off the phone with my Aunt and my cousin came out of surgery ok. They were taking her to her recovery room. There were no complications or anything so that was great to hear.

(Mary if you are reading this - yes this is my cousin that her and her husband adopted the little boy from Guatemala).

Ok excuse the language but I’m pissed! I haven’t blogged in awhile until yesterday. After all the shit that I’ve been going through I haven’t wanted to blog and even though blogging isn’t something ‘huge’ it’s just something in my life that I decided I needed to start making myself do again. And actually I guess to me blogging is huge…I’ve done it for a couple years and this blog has been a huge part of my life, as silly as that sounds.

So anyways….I had a really emotional night last night. Emotional in a good way I suppose. If that makes any sense. I had another one of the dreams that haunt me all too often these days but even after waking up from that I just told myself that today was a new day and things were going to be ok.

I open my email this morning to see that I had a new comment on my blog and I love comments so I was happy…until I opened the damn thing and read it. Not that I’m going to let some random jackass ruin my day but it certainly didn’t start my day very good! Look what this freaking idiot wrote to me…I mean seriously what the hell? What would even possess someone to write something like this on someone’s blog???:

id say your name doesnt fit you at all your a fat ass ugly chick not hott in the least bit i doubt youve ever been out on a date in your life and your probably really hard to love cos theres so much of you that needs lovin

sorry if i hurt your feelings but i just really needed to get my frustration out and i dont even know how i happened upon this site but you were just askin for it with your name and its meanings and then sayin how it fits your lard ass so well i couldnt resist sorry

His comment was in reference to my FridayFun - Does Your Name Fit You post. And it ticks me off that this ass doesn’t have a URL to hit site so I can go check it out. If you are going to bash someone then the least you could do is leave a URL to your site. What a dink.

What ever happened to the “if you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all” that our mother’s taught us when we were so little? I know there used to be a button floating around that said no blog bullies and if I could find it I’d have another button to add but I don’t remember where I saw it at.

Edited to Add: Thanks Teressa for providing me with the link to Alice’s no blog bullies button!

Wow I haven’t posted since June 21st! That’s just crazy seems how I’m addicted to blogging and post all the time, sometimes more than once a day. As most of you know (if you’ve been following along with me over the last couple weeks) there was some major drama here in my apartment complex and it kind of did a number on me.

I’m slowly but surely starting to feel like my old self again. I still have a long way to go and a lot of things to deal with but the past couple days I’ve felt pretty good. That could possibly have something to do with the fact that my man is back in a location where he can access Instant Messenger It’s so nice having him back around…it’s been soooooooo looooooooong since I’ve been able to talk to him via IM. There’s just something about being able to talk to him that makes me feel ’safe’ and like everything is going to be ok…if that makes any sense.

I canceled my counseling appt that was scheduled for last Thursday….don’t ask, it was a dumb move on my part and I’ve been chewed out about it enough by my man. As hard as it was to admit, everything he was saying was right. Doesn’t it stink when men are right about things?

So anyways…I figured I better pop in and give an update.

I wasted $5.50 at the theater today. Such a disappointment considering it’s taken me years to finally get the courage up to attend a movie by myself! I always had this thing with going to a movie by myself…felt that people would judge me, make fun of me, blah blah blah. I finally came to the point where I realized that it didn’t matter what other people thought of me going to a movie by myself. And for $5.50 for a matinee I couldn’t pass it up.

I have a thing for Mark Wahlberg and that was the deciding factor in what to go see. It was a toss up between The Love Guru with Mike Meyers, Kung Fu Panda with Jack Black or The Happening with Mark Wahlberg. Kung Fu Panda was out because I wasn’t in the mood for a cartoon w/out Caleb. I couldn’t get any feedback on Love Guru because no one I talked to had seen it yet. I got mixed reviews on The Happening. Some said it was scary & that I shouldn’t see it (I’m a baby when it comes to scary movies!), my sister Nicole thought it was great, a couple other people said they didn’t really have an opinion and then a couple other people didn’t like it.

I always like to watch a movie for myself regardless of what others say just to see for myself. Well sadly I wish I would of listened to those that said they didn’t like it. I was very disappointed with it. It was tacky, weird, stupid, dumb…yeah you get the point. I totally give this movie two thumbs down! Even with Mark Wahlberg in it, I still give it thumbs down. Even he didn’t make the movie worth my $5.50! LOL

I also left there with a huge huge headache because the screen was so blurry through most of the movie. At least that’s what I thought my headache was from but I’m not so sure. I was sick to my stomach last night and a little bit today but it’s gotten worse and after a couple recent trips to the bathroom I think I have the flu or something. Yuck. Time to go lay down and see if there is anything interesting on TV…Lifetime usually has some interesting movies on during the weekend. Lifetime - television for women. There’s just something about that line that makes me laugh.